Secret Diaries

10 Things I’ve Learnt Since Becoming A Dominatrix:

I’ve been a dominatrix for over two years now, I’ve seen the ups and the downs of the industry, been non-consensually covered in all manner of bodily fluids by subs and I’ve had both great sessions and horrendous ones. I’ve had days where I’ve spent over 12 hours strapped up in latex ploughing into the assholes of sluts, and I’ve spent days lying in bed trawling through an email inbox full of nothing “hey mistress how r u?”, truly the authentic dominatrix experience. To celebrate my continued existence within this realm I thought I’d do something funny, so here is the top 10 things I’ve learnt since becoming a professional Dominatrix.

1 – Men love being fucked in the arse but hate admitting it. 

THERE, I said it… Men love being fucked in the ass, but god damn will you have a hard time getting them to say the words “I want you to fuck me in the ass”. I know to you it’s a big deal and ever since you first slipped a finger up there whilst masturbating you can’t stop thinking about it but also feel so dirty… but I assure you most of your friends are doing it too. I had no idea when I started in this line of work that so many Men in the world would be so into being fucked in the ass, but it turns out everyone wants it. Strap-On is without a doubt the most requested act I get, and I’m all for it, these hips were made for thrusting… 

2 – A good session doesn’t always end in explosive orgasm. 

When I started out I would feel absolutely horrendous if a guy left the dungeon without busting a nut. Kneeling on the floor clutching at his dick with me learning over him staring down at him expectantly. In hindsight, this is not how you treat a man with nervous balls… and the expectance of orgasm was actually quite a naive and foolish thing for me to have. BDSM is actually a process that involves more than just the build up to orgasm, it’s a process of repeated and changing sensations which all build up to create a scenario in which I hold all the power (muhahahaaa) and my sub gets to feel out of control, in a position of subservience and, in a sense, at the complete peril of some hot young woman (me), all whilst being totally safe! To expect orgasm is to not fully understand the mindset and process of partitioning BDSM. 

3 – Bodily waste is gross, but it won’t kill you.

I’ll admit it… I’ve been shat on in my dungeon. I’ve also been pissed on, and had a man gag so hard on a cock a little bit of sick came up and landed on my crotch. Bodily fluids are gross (yes even semen) but that doesn’t mean they need to be scary. My repeated exposure to all of the fluids of the body has definitely taught me that what doesn’t kill you does make you stronger. If nothing else my years in the dungeon have learnt me the ability to clean up explosive shit from the cracks of a fucking machine, truly a testament to my strength. 

4 – Latex is sweaty as fuck.

I used to think latex looked great, now when I see it I can only see the puddles of sweat which I know will form on my body as a result of wearing it. Don’t get me wrong, I LOVE latex, latex is hot as fuck, but what latex also does is make me sweat a LOT. I can absolutely wear latex and feel amazing doing it… but only between late September and early May!

5 – Every time you think you have come across the weirdest fetish imaginable, there is someone with something weirder. 

I’ve come across all kinds of fetishes thanks to my time in this world. I’m not going to name names or expose people… but let it be known that sometimes you think you have seen it all, but in this world you can usually expect your “holy shit he’s into that” to be trumped by someone the next week who is in to THAT. It’s a true testament to the wonders of human sexuality I’m sure, god bless us all we are literally all going to hell for being horny.

6 – Penis’ truly do come in every single shape and size. 

6 inches when erect is average… or so they say. Well I had no idea when I signed up for a live of perversion that there was literally penises in every single shape you can imagine! Long and thin, short and fat, conical, turning upwards, turning downwards, turning left, turning right, turning left then right, tiny, HUGE, with giant veins and completely smooth. No penis is the same, let me assure you all, that there is no average penis, they are all different and they are all splendid (especially when they are locked up!).

7 – So many men love to pretend to be women. 

SISSIFICATION… yep, you all know who you are. I did not realise wearing panties and stockings and corsets and heels was quite such a widespread fetish. It turns out, a lot of men love dressing up as women, like A LOT. I had no idea that this fantasy was so widespread, but I am so glad that it is. There is nothing I love more than to make a man up in my own image onto to torment and destroy him with dildos and humiliation until the makeup is smeared over their slutty face and they are begging for MORE. 

8 – My parents are surprisingly chill with me fucking assholes and dressing up in latex for a living. 

My parents know what I do… They’ve met Mistress Inka and in a brief period when I was living at home and working in Bristol they even used to send me off to the dungeon with a packed lunch. From hanging up my latex in the shower to dry to dildos being cleaned in their dishwasher, I have to say, thanks to my parents for being top parents. My life and job would be so much harder if I did not have their full support, I’d struggle so much with all of the lying and deceit, instead I get to go home and be loved for everything about myself.

9 – Lots of men don’t know how to wipe their is asses. 

MEN, here’s a tip, you wipe with tissue paper, then if you need to, follow it up with a wet wipe. SO many times I’ve gone down and stretched open an asshole to give it an inspection before a brutal arse fucking is to be administered… and BAM, toilet tissue stuck to your asshole and smears of shit across your sphincter. It’s not cute, learn to look after yourself. I’m very happy that this has not happened to me for a number of months, but honestly the next time I peel open a mans arsehole to find toilet paper and shit stuck in there, I’m gifting you a cold shower and a deep enema!

10 – Boundaries are sometimes viewed as suggestions rather than absolute rules. 

Despite the hundreds of brilliant encounters I’ve had with lovely and unique people in this world, there’s always a couple who refuse to accept that I deserve a private life, and that no means no. I love my job, and I love being able to share intimate moments with my subs which transcend time and space and this earthly plane, it’s haven to be able to give such ecstasy to another human. Where I struggle however, is when people refuse to respect my agency over my own body, and my right to live a life away from the dungeon. I’ve had people approach me on dating apps and then book me for sessions, I’ve had people get abusive because I’ve not replied to their message fast enough, and I’ve had my body and consent violated in sessions. This isn’t a rule, this isn’t even a majority, but it is a tiny minority of people I’ve met who ruin it for others! Thanks to all of my lovely and wonderful subs who’ve never put me in these horrible situations, you make it all worthwhile. 

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